Single Steps Strategies Blog

Completing a Puzzle

By Lisa Purk

Comfort.  
 
In truth, we seek it daily.  Some days we do so more than on other, more routine days.  The things we do to find comfort is wide ranging. 
 
When seasons shift toward cooler temperatures, we crave our favorite comfort foods like chili or homemade vegetable soup.  We nestle in near a warm fireplace to watch movies or read.  When we experience pain, loss, or uncertainty in our life, we seek the comfort of a good friend.  When my mom died, I happened across a song by Ed Sheeran titled, Supermarket Flowers, that caused tears to flood my cheeks.  Yes, even tears bring us comfort at times we need to soothe our hurting souls. 
 
During this time in history marked by staying isolated in our homes and physically disconnected from others, even those we love deeply, we seek comfort. With a continual flow of changes that we do not fully understand and the uncertainty those cause, we need something that gives us peace, something that comforts us. 
 
Sometimes, such as we do in colder months, that comes in our food choices.  Yes, I have had some brownie eating, potato chip binging days.  But for reasons there is no need to detail, I chose not to rely on food, as tempting as it is. 
 
One day, as I scrolled social media for distraction, I observed that building jigsaw puzzles had become a popular quarantine activity of choice. 
 
It had been quite a few years since I completed one, but the memories were good.  My mom, who I cried the Supermarket Flowers tears for, is one reason.  She and I built many of them together over good conversation and much laughter. 
 
“Would I still enjoy them” I wondered to myself.  I decided to try and was quickly reminded that when I build one, I become completely engaged.  Completely.  
 
Just the other evening I thought, “I’ll just sort out the edge pieces” which turned into, “I’ll just start to build the frame” which became two plus hours ending with, “Wow, did I just spend that long working on that?”   
 
As I search for and place each next piece, I am freed from anxious and worried thoughts.  Even fear steps aside as I stay totally immersed in solving what is before me. 
 
When I find myself perseverating on a worry thought or I am fatigued from a day’s activities, I lose myself in organizing colors, looking for patterns and building sub-sections.  I notice a sense of anticipation when it is time to put aside the day’s activities and escape to that place where I forget about life for a while.     
 
When you find your mind is spinning and you want it to “stop” for a while, finding what offers this chance to escape matters.  Maybe like me, you enjoy the respite a good puzzle brings.  Or, maybe for you it is reading, baking, or crocheting.  Possibly your choice involves other people or is more active rather than sedentary.  There are no “rights” or “wrongs” about this.  But it is important that you have something that allows you to rest, rejuvenate and regroup. 
 
Your first step to retreating from the fatigue and concerns of life is to know what provides that for you.  
 
Puzzles are not my only way to escape.  Hiking, biking and long chats with good friends do as well. 
 
And sometimes, it is still the warm, fudgy brownie that calls my name.  And for that, I give myself grace. 

Lisa Purk is the Owner of Inner Fire Coaching.  She coaches women who want to develop the confidence to align their lives with their authentic self and pursue their creative passions.
 
You can find out more about Lisa through her blog, Your Morning Purk, on Facebook, and on Linked In.

Home is Where the Heart is…

Does Your Home Reflect Your Heart?

Recording of the May 28, 2020 virtual Women Who Wine event presented by Single Step Strategies and sponsored by The Musuneggi Financial Group. The event was titled “Home is Where the Heart is… Does Your Home Reflect Your Heart?”

The event featured three panelists:

  • Catherin Davin – Decorating
  • Sandy Kutchman – Organizing
  • Jackie Von Thun – Staging and Downsizing

These Ladies bring beauty and organization to the living spaces of their clients.  

Or watch the video on YouTube.

The Power of Parents Who “Just Say No”

By Mary Grace Musuneggi

Having been a single mom from the time Christopher was 9 months old, I know what it means to be both mom and dad sometimes. Many times.

I needed to learn how to throw a baseball; I needed to learn how to build a swing set. No one to share the tasks. Got to be it all?

When Christopher was in middle school and began to play football, I needed to learn the game. You would have thought with being raised in Steeler Country I would know all about football. But that was not the case. I also thought it was important to attend all his games. And so, no matter what was going on, whether the game was home or away, I tried to get there.

One game day, I was in a business meeting that was going on and on. I kept looking at my watch, knowing I would be late. Although I kept jeans and a sweatshirt and tennis shoes in my car, once the meeting was over there was no time to change. I ran from the meeting, jumped in my car, and headed to the field. Business suit, high heels and all, I ran from the car, through the grass (heels sinking into dirt), and climbed the risers congratulating myself for making it there before the first quarter ended.

Once the game was over and the team came walking off the field, I walked towards Christopher to praise him on some good plays. Before I could even say “hi,” he looked at me and said in a quiet and somber voice, “Can’t you dress like the other moms? Can’t you be like the other moms?”

Oh, how I realized at that moment how important it is for kids to be the same, to not stand out, to not be “different.” And having a mom run through the field in high heels and a business suit was just way too different, way too weird.

But my answer to his question was “NO.”

Being a parent is such a joy, but it is also an awesome responsibility. I learned that day—and Christopher learned that day—that sometimes the answer is “no.” And I think whether we are a single mom, single dad, a mom and dad couple, a two-mom or two-dad couple, grandparents raising grandchildren, foster parents, adoptive parents or any combination of a family, one of the best things we can do for our kids is “just say no.” No, I couldn’t’ be like the other moms. My situation was not like a lot of the other moms. No, I couldn’t’ dress like them when I had no time to change.

Life is filled with “no’s,” and that is just fine. Think how that makes us appreciate the times we get a “yes.”

No, you can’t sleep until noon.

No, you can’t drink underage.

No, you can’t skip doing your homework.

No, you can’t go to a college we cannot afford.

No, you can’t call in sick to your job when there is nothing wrong with you.

No, you can’t do [insert here], just because your friends can do it.

No, No, No.

Being a parent is an awesome and joyful responsibility, and the no’s are how we help our children to learn responsibility themselves.

And by the way, for all the mom’s out there, remember you are not, and can’t be, like any other mom. You are you, and that is exactly the best you can be.