The “To NOT Do” List

By Mary Grace Musuneggi

Have you ever complained that there is just not enough time in the day? Could you use another day in your week…or maybe a couple extra weeks in your year?

Most life coaches will tell you the best way to get control of your time is to have a daily “to do” list. Being a bit obsessive compulsive, I live off of mine. I always make sure my life has room for personal things—time alone and time with friends, meditation, exercise, and spa visits all appear on my “to do” lists. Of course, when career needs arise and family needs call, those other personal plans go to the back burner. Isn’t that what we women do? We just jump to the occasion. We never quite know how to say “no.”

That’s why the best strategy I have learned for managing my time is to take control of my “to NOT do” list. There are just things I do not like to do, and saying “no” to them is a blessing. I don’t like to walk the mall. I don’t like to golf. So an invite to do either, even from a good friend, gets a resounding “no.” I don’t like participating in organizations or joining committees that don’t have a strong focus on the things I think benefit me, my family, or my community. So they are on my “to not do” list. I have learned that every request for my time and my resources need not be an affront against my sense of fairness. As a result, I do not need to feel guilty if I say “no.”

So it is alright if we need to say “no” to the request to be the den mother, drive another car pool, cook for the community picnic, build the scenery for the school play, write the office newsletter, or join the card group. Our children will survive and prosper. Our community will survive, too. And this will leave more time for us to focus on those things we like to do. On those things we want to do. On those people and things we love. You’ve probably heard the saying, “if you want something done, ask a busy person”…but remember, that busy person does not always need to be you.

Know where your talents lie. Know what you love and what you really want to do. But also know what you don’t know and can’t do, as well as what others can do. I know there are things I can do but others can do easier, faster, and better than I can. So I delegate, saving myself time and energy. And many times, even when I spend money, I save money. I don’t do grass cutting, house painting, car maintenance, or dog grooming. These are at the top of my “to not do” list because talent, expertise, knowledge, and experience are invaluable tools that are worth paying for. And “to not do” these frees up hours, days, even weeks on my “to do” list.

So as you’re working on tomorrow’s “to do” list, try writing “create To Not Do list” at the top. It will be a single step toward a happier, healthier you!

Making History

By Mary Grace Musuneggi

Take a moment to remember the many women who have had an impact on our lives, our society, and our world. Some are famous…or infamous. There are classical women and modern women. Some that always come to mind for me are Madame Curie, Helen Keller, and Florence Nightingale, as these were the few women I was taught about in school in my early education. As I grew older I learned to admire Jacqueline Kennedy, Princess Diane, Mother Theresa, and Eleanor Roosevelt…didn’t we all? It wasn’t until the civil rights movement and the women’s movement that I learned about Rosa Parks, Susan B. Anthony and Betty Friedan. And there are so many more women who have made a difference, but whose names will never be household words.

More importantly, there are those women who have influenced our personal lives. For me those would be my mother, my Aunt Mary, Sr. Theresa Marie, friends, family, and business associates. My world is all it is due to the love of good friends and the “kindness of strangers.” There are so many women I admire because they have imparted their knowledge to me or been excellent examples of successful businesswomen, amazing mothers, and/or community leaders.

But while these women have been influencing our world, what have we been doing to influence others? We all have a responsibility to impact the world around us. And little do we know that by our mere presence here, we are influencing a small piece of it. You are an example to your children and to your co-workers. Could you be a mentor to a student…volunteer to make a women’s group more viable…share your knowledge and talents with others…leave a legacy so your goodwill lives on long after you?

We must be grateful for those women who have made history and go out into the world and make history of our own.

Doing What Makes You Happy

By Mary Grace Musuneggi

I once heard a story about a little boy who day after day would walk to a neighborhood park carrying with him a bag of chocolate candy. He would sit on a bench, and he would eat and eat until all the candy was gone. The remnants of the wrappers would be in his lap, and his face would be smeared with chocolate.

He would clean up the aftermath, wipe off his face and head on home…only to return the next day to do the same. After a time an old man who also came to the park every day just couldn’t watch this any longer without saying something to the boy.

“Young man. Do you know that it is very unhealthy to eat that much chocolate every day? You really should not do that.”

To which the little boy answered, “Sir, do not worry, my grandfather lived to be 100.”

“And did he each chocolate every day, too?” asked the old man. “No,” said the little boy. “He minded his own business.”

The moral of the story is: If you are doing something that makes you happy, maybe you shouldn’t let other people tell you what to do.